Barney Attempts Suicide

The KillBarney Tour takes Barney to Florida for a fun filled visit with Spirit Jake’s pack – Wolfie and Nala. But was it all fun and games?

We finally heard from Barney and discovered why he’s taken his time to tell us about the latest stop on his Killbarney Tour. He’s having emotional issues. Nala and Wolfie – pack mates of Spirit Jake – sent us a brief story about their visit, but from the photos they sent we can tell what really happened…


Wolfie welcomed Barney with a brief tour of his Florida home, but things  quickly took a turn for the worse…


Fed up with all these dogs mouthing him for a few days and passing him on, Barney contemplated ending it all…


Wolfie, realizing the affect of his actions, has a change of heart…


He jumps in to save Barney from certain drowning…


Or, did he just need to cool off?


Regardless, we are happy to report that Barney has received a much needed cleaning and is now back on the road – happy and healthy after some thoughtful counseling from Nala…


To find out what really happened during Barney’s visit to Florida – and whether or not he has taken to drinking – be sure to check out Jake’s Journey soon. And stay tuned for details about the next stop on the KillBarney Tour!

Author: killbarney

Barney was always a favorite of Jerry … and his greatest nemesis.

6 thoughts on “Barney Attempts Suicide”

  1. Ohhhhh noooooooo Barney!

    Good thing Wolfie rescued you and Nala licked you clean. Now, don’t you owe them a song?

  2. I’m betting he just needed to cool off AND take a much needed bath after all the dogs have slobbered on him! 🙂

    Tracy, Maggie’s Mom

  3. I lack this type of creativity gene, so I really appreciate others who have it! This was good!

  4. LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the title!!!
    Before I get comfy to read about Barney, I got to get ready…I’m so excited to see how he dies! Back in a few…

    Okay, I’m back. I got my super giant buttered popcorn that serves 50. I got my 4 gallon cup of coke. I’m ready!
    Let the entertainment begin!

    …………………GOOD for Wolfie! woohoo! Get him Wolfie!………………….Yay!!! Barney is done in! He defeated! YAY!……………………………….WHAT????????!!!!!!!………..NO Wolfie, don’t save him – he’s drowning!……..NO NO NO, look over here Wolfie!…Wolfie, look at me!….Don’t do it!……………OH Wolfie! No!….You saved him……………………OH, Nala, I can’t believe this – you are reviving him!…………..The end! That’s it!??????!!

    Well, that really sucked.

  5. Wow – going from Canada to Florida. I’m sure Barney got heat srtoke going from the frozen tundra to the heat of Florida. Too bad he didn’t die from it!!! I bet that’s why he jumped into the pool – he just got hot.

    But seriously – Wolfie, why did you save him? We all were really hoping he would get sucked into the skimmer, get trapped and drown a slow, horrible death. Darn it, wolfie – why do you have to be so nice and save that silly old purple dinosaur???

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *